Friday, May 28, 2010

Oh my.

Yesterday I was ho humming along, just doing nothing much, making our bed, when all of a sudden I heard very loud meows. "Oh cute," I thought, "Thorina is in the garage and she wants inside. She's so smart. She figured out that if she meows I'll let her back in. How cute! Oh hum...dooodle de doo, let the cat in the house and OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THAT?"
Cradled in her mouth was a LIZARD. A liz. ard. I immediately screamed so loudly that I am pretty sure that the neighbors heard me. And then I called David. HE DID NOT ANSWER.

What time was it? Why, it was about 3 p.m. on a Thursday. Guess what time that is for is snack day at his work. MY HUSBAND SCREENS MY CALLS DURING SNACK DAY. That is another issue for another time, but he refuses to answer the phone during his snack day. I always think of his pulling it out, thinking, "oh it is just Abbie" and then putting the phone back into his pocket.

Well, this time, I sent him a picture of this and wrote, "Please all me back!!!!!!!! Bbb help me!!!!!!"That meant in wife language, "Call me back RIGHT NOW because I know you are in snack day and screening my calls and your feline has just begun batting a LIVE LIZARD around my house!"
Still no call back. So then I decided to text my friend Jancin like any rational adult would, while I was up on a chair in my house. I wrote, "Omg. thorina just brought a lizar in my house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What do i do?!?!!?!?!?!?"

She wrote back, "Play with it!"


I know, I know. I know what you are thinking. Why, Abbie, you have a champion dog in your home! soon as he gets wind of the lizard he will protect you!

Well, in case you were thinking that, let me please just show you what my dog was doing while the lizard was running around my dining room:
Yes, that's right. Sitting on the couch, lounging around, thinking about his next nap.

By this time, the cat had dismembered the lizard so I was pretty sure it was dead. Then she began to eat it:
So, you can pretty much suppose that I spent last night cleaning up cat lizard vomit from the floors.

The end.


David said...

I would like to defend the gentlemen of this household. I was engaged in an important business call at the time; snack day was already finished! Furthermore, why should Paco waste his energy on a measly lizard that Thorina can handle with ease? Now, if a pirate came climbing in the window with a cutlass bright in his teeth, he would leap to the attack like Custard the Dragon!

Danielle said...

You should have just picked it up and put it outside! I used to catch those things all the time when I was little and they are harmless. ;-)

But I was laughing at your story because I had the exact same reaction when Dexter caught a mouse in our (old) basement. I can handle bugs and lizards, but Steve had to deal with the dead mouse! YUCK!

Kathy said...

You two are so funny! At least it wasn't a snake! Our cats occasionally leave moles or mice on our mat in the garage. Last week one of them deposited an actual dead RAT on the rug! Yuck!

Katie said...

omg...abbie, i would have been on a chair frantically calling anyone who would answer too. Gah! Lizards do NOT belong in the house!

And after a sufficient time of everyone ignoring my calls, i probably would have put a large bowl or cup over the lizard to trap it & left it until a brave husband came home to take care of it. And then spent the rest of the evening upstairs. Or maybe at the mall. :)

Pop said...

We...uh.....have at home Saturday...uh...I think we have something to do there.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh after a long day. It reminds me of T. Hurt & K. Hurt & Karen C. who used to put a glass over the top of spiders that they found living in our apartment on Mimosa Ct. at Mizzou. I would come home from class and lift the glasses off the spiders and kill them!

I love your play by play of the event!RORO